Barely Functioning Press

It's Literally Right There, But Go Off I Guess

2025年5月26日

You ever get that call? “Hey, I can’t find it. I looked everywhere.” And you know...

2025年5月25日

This morning I woke up to the sound of my daughter screaming “WHERE ARE MY SHOES” like it was...

2025年5月24日

Let me tell you about my wife, Erin. She’s a badass. She’s a boss. Literally — she runs the...

2025年5月23日

I’m just going to say it: some of y’all treat Facebook like it’s a confessional booth at a meth...

2025年5月22日

So I’m sitting there, minding my own business—doing literally nothing productive, as one does...

2025年5月21日

You know what’s romantic? Sharing your life—and your bed—with someone you love. You know what...

2025年5月20日

Let’s talk about the psychological warfare that is slow drivers. Not just slow in general—no...